Earthbound (the version you didn't see)
by lozzadozza89
Summary: This is basically a parody of Earthbound which involves the same storyline of the game itself.


The Meteorite

Author's note-if you have already read this fic, I would like to let you know that I have made this new account due to problems logging into my old account I have to start this story again on this new account so I can finish it off. I will also be adding some extras into this chapter just to improve it a little.

Now to the story

It was slowly approaching midnight and in the small town of Onett, something big and fiery was falling from the sky and it was heading towards a hilltop just outside of the town area which was nearby two houses and one of them looked like a mansion whilst the other looked like an ordinary house. When the Meteorite landed, the door to the mansion house opened and a boy who resembled that of a pig came waddling out, eating a large bag of cookies.

"Woah, what was that, I'm gonna go check it out" he said in a voice that sounded really similar to Eric cartman's and he attempted to run towards the hilltop but due to his obesity, he ran out of breath after two seconds and sweat was dripping into his eyeballs so he gave up and waddled instead towards the hilltop whilst in the housen ext door, a boy who was about the same age as the obese pig like kid who's name was Ness had been woken up by the small Earthquake that the Meteorite had caused all because the shaking had made him fall out of bed.

"What in the world of steak is going on?" he grumbled as he pulled himself up from the floor and peered outside his bedroom window.

"Drat, I can't see a thing from here. Guess I'm gonna have to go outside and see for myself, maybe I'll get a better view" he said to himself before putting his slippers on and heading out into the hallway just as his Ten year old sister Tracy came out of her bedroom in a pink nightgown, her shoulder length blonde hair sticking up in odd angles.

"Hey bro, did you just here that huge bang?"she asked "did it scare you?"

"No, i ain't scared of anything, I'm the worlds bravest boy" Ness bragged with a huge grin.

"Well pin a rose on your nose" Tracy replied, folding her arms "so what you up to anyway, where are you going?"

"I'm going to check out what caused that earthquake, do you want to come along?" he asked her but the young girl just shook her head.

"No way i'm going out there, there might be Aliens or something and they'll probably abduct us if we did go out and they'll take us into space and then take out brains out" she explained making scooping gestures with her hands "and they'll eat out brains and we'll turn into zombies."

"Aliens don't exist so I'm pretty sure it's not Aliens" Ness told her but Tracy still wasn't interested and went back into her room. After Tracy had gone back into her room, Ness quietly tip toed down stairs so that he wouldn't wake his mom up but she was already in the front room, peering out the window.

"Hmm if i sneak past her, I can go outside and see what caused that Earthquake" he muttered to himself. The young boy then began to tip toe past his mom but she turned around, catching him trying to sneak out.

"And just where do you think you are going in your jammies young man?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Oh I was just going to check out what caused that big bang" Ness told her.

"I'm surprised that you aren't scared, you must be nuts" his mom pointed out "well you'll just go out anyway, even if I say no, but I think you should change out of your jammies before you do go."

"Can't I just go out in my Pyjamas instead?" Ness asked her "It will save a lot of time."

"You know the rules, no going outside in your jammies, now get up them stairs now and get changed" she ordered.

"Fine" Ness replied, turning around and heading back up stairs to change out of his jammies and changed into a blue and yellow striped T-shirt, some blue shorts and red sneakers. He also put a red cap with a blue brim on his head before heading back downstairs.

"Ok, now can I go outside and check out what caused the big bang?" he asked.

"Okay but don't be gone too long" his mom replied.

"Don't worry about me Mom, I'll be fine" Ness replied before he outside where there was Police cars everywhere and the road leading to the town was blokced off. There was a man argueing with two Police officers, demanding them to open the road so that he could get home.

"Listen here you pigs, I wanna get home, my wife and kids are waiting for me" he demanded and Ness noticed that he was having some difficulty standing which indicated that he was drunk.

"Sir we would appreciate it if you didn't bother us sir" one of the Police officers said "and for god sakes, sober up." The man grunted and turned around to see Ness looking at him.

"hey kid" he slurred as he staggered over to the boy and put his hand on his shoulders " can I crash at yours tonight, I cannot get home you see and these pigs won't let me go home, they are very mean, so can I crash at yours, please?." Giving him an odd stare, Ness pulled himself away from the drunk and headed up to the hilltop as the drunken man grumbled something before falling head first into some nearby pushes, passed out. As he walked up the hilltop he noticed that there was more Police officers near that area and he also noticed his pig like neighbour Pokey up there too and he was bothering the officers.

"Come on man, let me through, I wanna see what's up there" he begged in his Eric cartman voice as Ness approached the scene.

"So what's up there then huh?" the smaller boy asked "and Pokey, stop bugging the cops you fat assed creature."

"Hey I'm not fat, I'm big boned" Pokey complained "anyways, what lies up there is a Meteorite, but I'll tell you more about it tomorrow, so why don't you get your skinny butt back home, the cops don't want you bothering them."

"Excuse me" Ness stated with his arms folded "I think you'll find that it's you who is buggin the cops." Pokey didn't say anything, instead he turned around and farted. The horrific smell caused Ness to leave the area in a hurry and even some of the cops plugged there noses and waved their hands to get rid of the awful smell.

"Sorry, should have had that cheesy bacon burrito" Pokey replied with a fake innocent grin. Meanwhile as Ness headed back home, the drunk man rose from the bushes and once again asked Ness about sleeping at his house.

"Look man, I don't know you and I don't think my mom would be too pleased if I brought a complete stranger home to sleep over, especially if they're drunk" Ness explained. The man stared at the kid for a few moments before speaking again.

"You know what creeps me out kid, unborn babies" he slurred. Ness gave the drunken man a strange look, what the heck was he talking about.

"Eh, Okay?" the kid stated "why you scared of unborn babies?."

"No idea, just seeing them on the scans gives me the woollies" the man slurred but Ness simply put this down to drunken talk "if an army of unborn babies from space ever attack , I'll scream like a girl and go on a rampage which may involve me tossing myself off a cliff."

"Well, let's hope no evil unborn babies from space do attack" Ness replied, ignoring the drunken man's random conversation and headed back home where his mom was sat on the porch, waiting.

"You were gone a long time" she said.

"Sorry, I was on my back but this man started talking to me, kept going on about how unborn babies creep him out" Ness told her.

"Unborn babies?" his mom asked.

"yeah you know, unborn babies, foetuses. Mind you I think he was drunk because I encountered him on my way up to the hill top and he passed out in the bushes" he explained.

"So what's up there then, no in fact, you can tell me in the morning. It's late and you should get yourself back to bed" his mom told him.

"Okay, but I'm going back up there in the morning to get a proper look" Ness told her as they both headed indoors.


End file.
